thumbnail :)

thumbnail :)


To a close female friend:

It’s 9:45 PM.  We’re in a group, walking back from the town to a parentless house to take the party up a notch.  I… well, I’ve had too much to drink.  We’re sitting in the den playing Never Have I Ever with a bottle of amber-colored Polish vodka - not helping my situation.  Eventually, you, another girl, and I make our way outside so she can have a smoke.  

As foggy as my memory of last night is, I remember this part pretty clearly.  At some point in our drunken ramblings, sexuality came up, to which the other girl pipes in that she’s bisexual.  You open up, saying you think of women when you masturbate.  I hardly even notice the words coming out of my mouth as I slur that I’m …not straight.  You reassure me, you won’t tell anyone.

If situations like these keep repeating themselves, you won’t have to.

On the bright side, it’s getting easier to open up to people about it.  That may have been the alcohol that eased the situation, but whatever.  The point is, it was nowhere as hard as the first time.  I’m coming to terms with the fact that this is going to be a long process.

<3 Thanks for being a great friend.

It was a good day. Last week, I came out to my friend and his girlfriend on our way downtown. She sent me a text today.

Her: You are super cool no matter who you want to see naked :)


To your best friend:

It’s been a great 7 years together.  We’ve filled just about every possible relationship possible - best buds, mortal enemies, mere acquaintances - we’ve never been romantically involved and I’m glad.  That makes this easier.

I’m sitting next to you - and your girlfriend, who I trust as well - on a speeding underground train.  We’re heading out for a night of revelry and celebration, but also goodbyes; it’s your last night in this country, your last night with me, your last night with everyone here you care about.

I’m confessing this to you because I know you deserve to know, and that I need to confide in you. 

You try to slide it into conversation.  You know it’s going to steal all the attention.

"I… I’m… I’m sexually attracted to men," you stutter out, not even sure if you’re actually saying the words - you’ve imagined saying them, yelling them, so many times.  It’s not real you tell yourself.  You’re hoping you’re dreaming.  Did you really just tell him?



I’m not straight.


You’re still my friend, and I love you to pieces for that.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.


To myself:

You’re a guy.  You’ve known that since birth.  It’s a fact of nature.

Guess what - you’ve known something else since you could fathom attraction to another human being - you’re not like the rest of them. 

You’re attracted to men.  You may be attracted to women too.  You have a girlfriend, you love her; you get that.  You feel a physical attraction to her.

But you know, you can’t deny your attraction to men anymore.  You’re not straight.

These words are cutting you deeply.  You’re pouring it out.

You’re not.  And you know what?  It’s a fact of nature too.

It’s in your nature.  You can’t change it.

It’s in your genes, your brain, and your heart - wherever you find any magnetism to others. 

You’re learning to accept that.  It’s ok to be gay.  To be bi.


Please, can you love yourself before you love others?




You don’t love yourself yet.